transformation through painting

Holding Back

I have been holding back from writing, even though I am swamped with inclinations to write a book. My friends have been doing it, so I am getting closer. I have committed to writing together with a friend. Put money down on a writing course, and welcomed the idea of a regular blog. Many of you have already stepped in. I had noticed I was feeling blocked but my painting process was going well. I even bought a bike to adventure afield with youthful excitement in the Albuquerque neighborhoods. So , why I am feeling blocked?

I was being called to write, and was holding back. Do you know that feeling, everything is aching to move forward, but your mind is saying tomorrow? I just need to clean, or I just need to call my kids, or watch that really valuable, graphically violent TV show. Don’t want to miss the season finale? What I’m really missing is the opportunity to connect to myself, with myself, to ask what’s there.

Winds of Change

Coming to the end of 2012, I am wondering about all the changes experienced, and if I’ve actually grokked the change.
Anyone else had a big year of change? I hear it from all my friends. For some it was a struglel for others , it was just another pondering, or another project. I noticed that a lot had to do with the attitude brought to the climate of change. many of us have expressed feelings of fear, entering the unknown, with curiosity and grace, or with anxiety and doubt. None of it being wrong, mostly a fluctuation between the two.
for the studio there is an excitement about something new-teaching in Santa fe , at a lovely bright and open studio. We’ll start with classes and then by early summer, schedule a workshop. Santa fe is a vibrant and historical, art town, full of beautiful adobe buildings, great restaurants and of course, the shopping.
Look for more information at http://santafecreativetourism.org, or go look on the webiste under Santa Fe classes.
Savor the new openings, especially the ones that come with a little risk.

Openings and the BIG YES

So recently, there has been a lot of newness in my life. A new grandson came at the beginning of the year. Each new stage seems to bring more than was expected. New doorways, openings, apparent choices, seem to be popping up. In speaking to friends about these new choices, one described them as openings that show up in life. the other called hers following the YES.

We ask for new aliveness, change, the unexpected , more potential, and it often comes in such disturbing ways. We hope to control how creativity works in our lives, but really, we have to small a picture of how things might change for the better.Sometimes it comes as a can’t go there, so where, or a holding still till something else appears. when we ask for it, surprisingly it shows up. We just don’t always recognize the beauty of the newness, the opportunity to Feel the deep YES! We look instead for something to do, to make things right, adjust make it easier for everyone. Perhaps the openings find their own way, leading everyone to more potential. We need to just step into the opening, notice what feels right and let it unfold. This can be quite exciting. So let’s look fo rthe openings, and lean towards are yeses.

Anticipation

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then after a second or so,

nothing continued to happen.

Douglas Adams

This quote in my last e-mail newsletter, from Douglas Adams, author of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,
made me laugh every time I read it. I knew what it was going to say, but each time I read it , it was new.
There is a story of Zen monks, who were in an experiment. They were attached to devices that monitored their responses to stimuli. They were placed in a room with a phone. The phone would ring, over and over, but each time,
they would show responses as if it were the first time. They were completely responding from the moment.
We look at life in very habitual ways. We are always straining towards a future which is somehow better or worse than
where we are now. So much strife is in the world that we are projecting forward with fear. We miss the present, because it only lasts for……… It is in this way that the brain helps to maintain an ongoing identity. Do we really know we are the same person that fell asleep last night? Do we really know that the person next to us is the same one who we married so many years ago?
Every 7 years, the body changes it’s cells completely. what was in us at birth, is no longer there. the brain keeps a record, but even memory is fragile.
So, although anticipation can be very enticing, it may not be as good as what’s here, now. Can we stay here even for this moment? An experiment.

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Debbie Purdy


 

Creative Wings Studio