transformation through painting

Empty Space

Here I am, seemingly in empty space, between classes, scheduled events, busy life, gone to quiet, yoga, mediation, painting, hummingbirds(not the least of it). In these times, and they come, intermittently, i wonder what is holding up my life. I often think of my life as activity, so really notice when I’m being asked to be not do. My friend is pointing to my impulsive nature, stepping into things, when I really don’t know. I am taking this in, maybe taking it personally, which really isn’t helpful. I painted yesterday, and noticed how I stepped in too soon, not listening to what was really calling me first. Today, I looked at my painting and said to myself, “Well, you really screwed that one up!” But had I? My mind ran right for doubt, just after it ran for completion. So many ways to distract from the discomfort of not knowing. So, I am about to enter the studio, again, this time with more openness to do one thing next. I know what it is , white lines, and , dang it, that’s all I know. Someone must see the whole of the painting finished, but it’s not me.

“I can’t go on. I go on.” Samuel Beckett

Passion or Presence

So, one thing I really love about my husband is his intuitive higher thinking mind. He writes papers like we paint paintings. at Lunch, he was sharing his newest paper, about how passion is on the surface, and trust of life is beneath. Passion reuires the fluctuation of energy, while trust allows the flow of energy to constantly move, yet without the charge. I have been asking myself if it’s okay not to feel strong passion, anymore, but a sense of presence and peace. Maybe, it’s part of aging. Anyone else feeling it that way. We were trying to discern what creatives activation then, and how do we sense it. Is it like walking through one door instead of the other, or falling a little this way or that? Sometimes, there’s just an okay knowing for me now. I don’t seem to have the strong passion. I can say there is a restlessness. When I feel that, it’s usually the wanting of the will that is calling , not so much the presence. if I allow myself a deeper experiencing, I go back to the moment. Feel free to share through the websites e-mail. love to hear from you.

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Debbie Purdy


 

Creative Wings Studio