transformation through painting

Empty Space

Here I am, seemingly in empty space, between classes, scheduled events, busy life, gone to quiet, yoga, mediation, painting, hummingbirds(not the least of it). In these times, and they come, intermittently, i wonder what is holding up my life. I often think of my life as activity, so really notice when I’m being asked to be not do. My friend is pointing to my impulsive nature, stepping into things, when I really don’t know. I am taking this in, maybe taking it personally, which really isn’t helpful. I painted yesterday, and noticed how I stepped in too soon, not listening to what was really calling me first. Today, I looked at my painting and said to myself, “Well, you really screwed that one up!” But had I? My mind ran right for doubt, just after it ran for completion. So many ways to distract from the discomfort of not knowing. So, I am about to enter the studio, again, this time with more openness to do one thing next. I know what it is , white lines, and , dang it, that’s all I know. Someone must see the whole of the painting finished, but it’s not me.

“I can’t go on. I go on.” Samuel Beckett

Passion or Presence

So, one thing I really love about my husband is his intuitive higher thinking mind. He writes papers like we paint paintings. at Lunch, he was sharing his newest paper, about how passion is on the surface, and trust of life is beneath. Passion reuires the fluctuation of energy, while trust allows the flow of energy to constantly move, yet without the charge. I have been asking myself if it’s okay not to feel strong passion, anymore, but a sense of presence and peace. Maybe, it’s part of aging. Anyone else feeling it that way. We were trying to discern what creatives activation then, and how do we sense it. Is it like walking through one door instead of the other, or falling a little this way or that? Sometimes, there’s just an okay knowing for me now. I don’t seem to have the strong passion. I can say there is a restlessness. When I feel that, it’s usually the wanting of the will that is calling , not so much the presence. if I allow myself a deeper experiencing, I go back to the moment. Feel free to share through the websites e-mail. love to hear from you.

Good to the Last Dot

Was painting this morning for breakfast. Sooo delicious. I heard th epainting say it needed to be finished, and I couldn’t go into life today without doing the fine details of line , dot, color and outline that seemed , yesterday, somewhat insignificant. And yet, this morning, I really got that the painting has an internal order and rhythm that I have no control over, and thank god, that has much more to offer me than I know. I went out and painted away, chug, chug, and then the last highlight came , and the last dot of white in just the right place, that couldn’t of happened at any time before. When I painted it, I felt inside like a deep sinking in to the interior. It was connectedness, and integrity of action like I hadn’t felt before.
Life is also like this. As I get older, I have a sense of needing to follow full circles, contact old friends, apologize for slights, i thought were insignificant at the time. Savor the richness of life that’s in front of me. This could have too do with getting older, , or just with getting more appreciative, I don’t know. After this morning in the studio, I don’t want to miss one completion of a cycle. They are all to precious. Maybe, I’ll have painting for breakfast again.
Upcoming date to remember, sept. 7, 2-7 at Creative Space Santa Fe. We are inviting everyone to our Open House.

The Beat of the Beckoning

One of my new students, Patsy, when painting came up with this description of catching the flow, “the beat of the beckoning”. It seemed an apt and unique description of process and how it calls you, invites you in and has a particular movement or rhythm that is enchanting when experienced. I was wondering, what is it that painters need to hear about this process. I am working on exercise for the mentoring Program about to start in October. So this question, what is the most succinct information that students or teachers of the process need to hear.
Maybe it’s just this simple, that there is something always there beckoning, and it can be contacted through Creativity.
It is something that has compassion, even love for us. It has an expansive presencing that we long for. And yes, creativity is one way to experience it.
Who knew painting could be so joyous and filled with surprises?

Older Posts »

Debbie Purdy


Creative Wings Studio